Election Day – And Wayne's RemedyI just voted, but I can’t tell you for whom because that might swing the election toward one of the lesser crooks on the ballot. Before I get into scandal, I am reminded of my first election. It was 1960, and a fellow named Kennedy who talked funny – but well – and was later murdered in a conspiracy orchestrated by United States intelligence community was running against Richard Nixon. I actually worked the polls that day, on behalf of a Republican named Dave Maxwell. He was running against a powerful Democratic machine in Philadelphia and got slaughtered. But he was a good man, and I would work for him again. The good news was that JFK carried our precinct by something like 148-10. And this wasn’t your classic Irish neighborhood. It wasn’t even overwhelmingly Catholic. The section was called Germantown. You won’t find too many Germans there today. There was a big battle in the Revolutionary War there in 1777, and you were safer between the lines of the two armies than you are walking those streets today.
Fast forward to the present, and the contrast between the 1960 election and today is depressing. In 1960 I voted for two good men from different parties. Today, I voted for the lesser of evils. I wish I could be registered in both parties so I could have voted against both of those rich guys, who are insulting our statewide intelligence. Thank God that we still have newspapers, which exposed them both. Television, being bought by the pair, would never have had the guts or the talent to do the job.
With a few exceptions, those running on the state and national level strike me as running because they believe in the nine commandments, with the one about stealing exempt. The local elections were not quite as bad, but the judge situation is awful. Lawyers with Jewish names, most of whom can’t make a living practicing law, have been running against black and Hispanic judges. This is because the Jewish condo vote tends to be a homer. There is nothing new about this. My mother, when she voted, usually went with the Irish names, and in so doing helped elect a lot of black people. What is bad is that candidates, including one putz who does not even live in Broward County, take advantage of this natural phenomenon to vote out of office some fine judges whose names suggest skin color or ethnic background other than their own.
On top of these trials, the ballot is ridiculous. We keep changing the system every election. In 1960, I was one of the rare ones who did not just pull a single lever. Now we have a new paper ballot which you can hardly see and fill in ovals which you can’t see. I thought I was back taking the freaking college boards. I left the polling place feeling down and diminished. But then, I dropped by to see Francis the broker, whose office was next to the polling place, and bought some of Wayne’s new stock.
I feel better already, and I haven’t even had lunch.