The Rankest Rankings
The big news today is that the annual U.S. News & World Report (or something like that) just released its list of the top colleges. Nobody reads this except everybody who reads this. Our computer has not worked for the last year, so we can only pick up snatches of the report. But we can say, based on past experience, that these ratings are stupid and meaningless. We can only guess the usual suspects are up there. They don’t change much from year to year, and when they do it is usually because the football team had a good year, or the basketball team made the Final Four.
However, just for the record, the papers have scooped us, reporting that the
On the other hand, some say there are four great schools in the south. Tulane, Vanderbilt, Duke and, alas,
London Schoolof Economics. Purists might say this does not count because it is not a school. But JFK went there, and besides, we are talking about U.S. . This school is located off I-75, or maybe I-65, but it’s up there in the hills, located in a small cave. It has only three students, but they are doing wall carvings, which when discovered 10,000 years from now, will explain how Howard Schnellenberger got the idea for the “U” on the Miami helmets. London, Ky . My late uncle, Brother Francis McCormick, F.S.C., used to say “somebody has to educate the sons of the truck drivers.” I am one of them. In retirement, after a career in insurance, my dad drove a flower truck during the holidays. I will put the sons of the truck drivers in there with Harvard any day. La Salle University
- Harvard. It is only on this list because my nephew, Mike McCormick, was the winning pitcher for
(c. 1985) against Harvard. Columbia . See number 3. It jumped four places on the list because of little Mike’s great day, and also because my brother (big Mike) taught there for 40 years. Columbia
- Notre Dame. The golden dome makes this list because my old school and Notre Dame are quite close.
La Sallemeans Notre Dame in French. Also there are 10,000 advertisers in this magazine who are Fighting Irish.
- Nova Southeastern. Now known as NSU, it makes the list because half the litigators in town went to law school there. We don't need legal trouble. Also, they buy ads.
Florida Atlantic. No ads lately, but as long as Howard runs the football program, it demands respect.
- Villanova. This is only listed because U.S. News usually ranks the Wildcats as a top "regional" university. This is B.S. Villanova is a national school, loaded with kids from Florida, and instead of No. 1 regionally, it would be in the top 1,000 if competing with the Ivies and ND. It cannot be a very good school. Two of my brothers got in there.
. Rollie Massimino, famous for coaching at the great Northwood University Villanova University, and winning the NCAA Tournament, is now at the helm of a good little college program in . West Palm Beach . We had to do this or the managing editor and half our Gator infested company would resign. Or kill the whole freaking blog. Don’t know which is better. Universityof Florida