Tonight's State of the Union: 7 Predictions
Prediction: Tonight, in his State of the Union address, the president will call for national unity, especially among the estimated 11 to 12 million illegal immigrants, a number which is probably only marginally higher than the number of illegal big snakes in the Everglades.
2nd Prediction: Congress will at last come to a consensus and find a path for people illegally in this country to become legal. This will probably not happen tonight, partly because Senator Marco Rubio, in his rebuttal speech, will be forced to disagree with the president, even if he agrees with everything he hears. And how do you do a rebuttal, right after a speech you don’t know anything about?
3rd Prediction: In the interest of sportsmanship, President Obama, or one of his PR guys, will have slipped Rubio a confidential copy of the president’s address – including suggested rebuttal points. One of those points will not be suggesting that Rubio and other Republicans stop using party credit cards, funded by campaign contributions, to live on, which is sending one of their boys to jail as we speak.
4th Prediction: Within a few months, there will be an agreement among the parties to find a path for 12 million or so illegal immigrants to become legal. Which will do absolutely nothing but encourage all their relatives, a number probably under 100 million, to get here as fast as they can to take advantage of this victory. As long as they can do this, people will come for a better life, same as all our ancestors did in ages past. The only difference is that our ancestors – or at least this writer’s – came here legally (partly because illegal immigration had not yet been invented) and the first thing they did was go up the hill at Fredericksburg, waving their Irish flags, and got slaughtered.
5th Prediction: When this crisis is resolved, there will be a reaction. Thoughtful people will get rid of the notion that any baby born in this country is an American citizen, even though a pregnant woman came here for exactly that purpose. This will lead to similar uprisings in Europe where the same thing is happening. Nations will be so upset that civil wars may break out.
6th Prediction: Some political nut will propose that we all go back a few hundred years and re-enact the colonial era, when advanced societies took over primitive ones and tried to teach the natives how to live, a failed concept that resulted in people emigrating to the societies they overthrew.
7th Prediction: This is the lucky seven. None of these predictions will come true, and we will just kick the can down the road for another thousand years.